Because we can do so much more than just survive motherhood.
I realized, after having a baby, that modern American culture does not promote motherhood. In fact, we mothers are often given advice on how to "survive" motherhood, when we should be focusing on the ways in which we can THRIVE in motherhood. I often joke that motherhood has turned out to be "so much better than I expected," and it's because of my newfound awareness of our culture's negative view of motherhood that I feel the urge to speak about it.
From television programming to blog reel after blog reel, I see motherhood being portrayed as a "burden" that can be overcome. I choose not to look at my role as a mother in this way. Instead, I want to focus on the ways in which I can find joy at every possible moment. I am reminded that my role will change quickly as my child develops and each phase must be met with a joyful spirit. That's not to say that I am perfect or my child is expected to be perfect or my experiences are always perfect, but my mindset determines whether I am gritting my teeth and "surviving" motherhood or moving through it with grace and ease. Is my yoke heavy or light?
Below are (5) easy ways that new moms can start to thrive in the role of motherhood:
1. Be Confident.
God has blessed you with a sweet, beautiful little baby. Whether you choose to breastfeed, co-sleep, vaccinate, outfit organically...or not...be confident that the Lord is with you and will lead you. Every family is different and what works for one child or family may not be the best fit for the next. Be confident that you are making the right decisions with the information you have, and be humble enough to accept when you are wrong and make changes accordingly. You are not perfect but you can be confident that you are doing your best by raising your child not with a spirit ruled by fear but with a spirit of power and love.
2. Dress Well.
This tip may seem silly, but it's actually really important for a couple of reasons. Firstly, the body transitions that accompany motherhood can be jarring and even disheartening. While you work on shedding the weight and/or getting your body back into shape, dressing well each day reminds you that you are still beautiful and valued despite these changes. It is really tempting to wear leggings or pajamas all day but these are not real clothes, and they will not make you feel like a lady.
Dressing well also signals to your partner that you value him as much as you value yourself. My husband is naturally more attracted to me when I wear a dress or when I put together a stylish outfit and in turn, I end up feeling really great about myself as well. And guess what? Dresses can still be really comfortable and flattering. I also like wearing comfortable rompers with cute details or stylish patterns because they are easy and make me feel put together. You can easily dress up a romper or simple, cotton dress with a couple of accessories--say, a floppy hat and oversized sunglasses, or white tennies, or a cute choker necklace.
Lastly, making an effort to dress well every day will also help you create structure to your day. Even if you aren't leaving the house much, wearing a well put-together outfit each day will keep the days from blurring together and will give you a sense of purpose from one day to the next. You will naturally start to feel confident.
3. Follow a Daily Routine.
I'll admit, I am by nature a Type-A personality. Maybe I get it from my mother. Maybe it's due, in part, to my Polish background. Maybe it's a by-product of the tools I picked up in school and the workforce. Maybe it's a combination of all of these factors. The point is, I need structure and order to thrive. Motherhood can feel very chaotic in the beginning and for me, creating a daily routine was central to the restoration of order.
Don't worry if you don't follow your routine exactly--deviation is expected and even necessary. The important thing is that you have structure to your day and a general outline to follow so that, again, your days don't blur from one to the next. Motherhood is a job and jobs have routines.
4. Take a Million Pictures and Share Them Often.
Show off that sweet little love! Your family and friends love receiving the photos just as much as you love sending them. I prefer to text individuals more often rather than rely solely on social media posts for mass shares. It makes my family members and close friends feel important, and I feel more connected to them as well.
5. Experiment.
Your child is a puzzle to be figured out--by you! Experiment so that you can determine what makes them tick and how you can raise them in the way that they will go. Even when they're young, your baby has a personality. Pay attention to them--really focus on what soothes them and find ways to balance this with your daily tasks and routines. For us, a swing was a major game changer, but I also try to hold my baby often because she truly loves it.
If you have any tips on how to thrive in motherhood, please share in the comments below! I would love to hear your experiences.